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Thursday, August 10, 2017

William Pike

William pike Image result for hot rocks blowing up
Today william pike came to our school. what was awesome he only has one leg because. He was in mount ruapehu when it erupted the hot black rocks crush one of his leg. So  he had to get it chop off what seems scary and  painful. heres some photos
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6 comments:

  1. Kia Ora Chloe,
    This seems like it was cool but you didn't really add any detail and next time you might want to check the words and if they make sense because lots of them I wouldn't be able to understand if I wasn't there with William Pike. You also didn't add why he was there and what you enjoyed. I honestly think It would be quite good if you added who he was specifically but other than that it was okay I guess.

    Kind Regards
    Julia
    Yaldhurst Model School

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  2. Hello Chloe my name is Isabel, I'm a Year 6 at St Bernadette's School. I like the way you added in pictures to help explain what you wrote and you described what happened to William Pike. Maybe next time you could add in some more sentence about how the day was or some more facts about William Pike. Was it just your class or did William Pike go and see every classroom ?

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  3. Kia Ora Chloe I love how you put in a detail in it. I have noticed that at the end of sentence the w is a low case, next time can you put a capital?

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  4. and my name is Chloe I come from Sockburn school

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  5. Kia Ora Chloe My name is Allie from Mamaku 1 at Grey Main School. I like how you Add in pictures you have explain heaps of information about William pike but you did not add that much detail. so maybe next time you could add more detail.

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    Replies
    1. Hey there thanks so much for the helpful comment. yes I will.

      Delete

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