Hey Everyone!
Im back.
Today I did a fun free write. Which is about waking up in the morning for a nice horse show.
If you don't know, I do horse riding and I'm currently competing at 80cm eventing shows.
I decided to write a morning free write about it. This weekend I actually have a show and I'm doing 80 cm. I really would like some awesome feedback to improve my sentences.
I have made it that I'm doing episodes so every time I have to do a free write I will continue the story. This time I have done waking up in the early mornings and next time I will say how I went with the event. Or I could write one about how I prep for a horse show.
I think I need to improve my story like adding more powerful words or some good detailed sentences. My word count is 322.
Show day!
Ep - 1
“Buzz” “buzz” my alarm goes off at 5:00 am on saturday morning.
Nerves bang against my stomach as if they were having a fun party.
I slowly opened my stuck eyes and try to wake myself up out of my
comfort bed.
I get out of my bed like a hungry zombie and chuck some
clean horse riding clothes on like, Spooks baby pink shirt, White riding
pants and pink long spooks socks. I put some track pants over top and a
nice comforty jumper.
As I quickly get in the car at 5:30 am and head
to the farm where my horse live. As I arrive at 6:00 and its freezing
cold that the cold air bites on the back of my teeth, but the stars are
so beautiful while the mat black sky stays behind it. I head into the
stables and turn the lights on to get my halter to catch Cheeta from
the paddock.
While I walk to the paddock which is around 500 metres
away from the stables I hear these crinkling noises coming behind me,
my heart beats so fast, I got scared. Oh wait that's just the other
horses in the other paddocks.
As I unlock Cheeta gate and shine my
bright phone light in her face and put her halter on and bring her into
the stable. I get my mum to hold her while I put her floating boots which
protect her legs incase anything happens in the float. I take her top rug
off and leave the bottom one on.
I pull Cheeta up on to the float and tie
her up. Then we double check that I got all of my wonderful gear that I
put in the float yesterday. Then we drive to the show watch the wonderful
sunrise glissing on top of the windscreen. Its my favorite part is heading
there to see the amazing sunrise.
Nerves bang against my stomach as if they were having a fun party.
I slowly opened my stuck eyes and try to wake myself up out of my
comfort bed.
I get out of my bed like a hungry zombie and chuck some
clean horse riding clothes on like, Spooks baby pink shirt, White riding
pants and pink long spooks socks. I put some track pants over top and a
nice comforty jumper.
As I quickly get in the car at 5:30 am and head
to the farm where my horse live. As I arrive at 6:00 and its freezing
cold that the cold air bites on the back of my teeth, but the stars are
so beautiful while the mat black sky stays behind it. I head into the
stables and turn the lights on to get my halter to catch Cheeta from
the paddock.
While I walk to the paddock which is around 500 metres
away from the stables I hear these crinkling noises coming behind me,
my heart beats so fast, I got scared. Oh wait that's just the other
horses in the other paddocks.
As I unlock Cheeta gate and shine my
bright phone light in her face and put her halter on and bring her into
the stable. I get my mum to hold her while I put her floating boots which
protect her legs incase anything happens in the float. I take her top rug
off and leave the bottom one on.
I pull Cheeta up on to the float and tie
her up. Then we double check that I got all of my wonderful gear that I
put in the float yesterday. Then we drive to the show watch the wonderful
sunrise glissing on top of the windscreen. Its my favorite part is heading
there to see the amazing sunrise.
Kia Ora Chole, Katelynn here again from Totara 1!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great blog post explaining what you've done for this activity. I really like how you have written what you need to improve on. Maybe next time you could spread your writing into paragraphs and re-read to make sure some of your sentences make sense but apart from that it is perfect.
Good luck for your horse riding event this weekend. I don't horse ride but it sounds like fun.
Keep up the great work Chole!
Katelynn
Hey Katelynn!
DeleteThank you so much for commenting and giving me back some great feedback. Thanks I had a great time riding :)
Kind regards Chloe.